I do not give a fuck if i am an adult i will sulk like a little child. I am going to sing my own praises too, i am probably the most selfless, caring person you’ll ever meet, i am always there for most people, regardless of how i know them, in any situation. I have helped people with diagnosed depression, people who self harm, people with abusive parents, as well as people who just generally feel down or need some to talk to. They were some of my greatest friends, and 2 still are, and they’re a hell of a lot nicer than most people I’ve met. And im sick of lying and saving face, i am not going to lie like everyone who says “oh im here for everyone if you need someone”. Fuck off. You most likely are lying. Sorry if you are a genuine person, but you are rare, and good job. Seriously, i choose to be selfish for one fucking day, and i have every right to, to actually enjoy my day, and have others be kind to me, but noooo, that’s not how it goes, i got ignored by everyone i know in real life apart from my close family. No one wished me a happy birthday, it’s late evening now, and my friends only just started saying it to me because my mother posted a status on my fb wall. And then there’s tumblr. I made this blog with the reason to vent to a site where i may stay anonymous, but as i started getting followers i felt bad to start doing so, because i didn’t want to annoy people or make people feel they need to help or pity me, but fuck if i care anymore, no one on here has enough decency to wish me a happy birthday. I thought i could rely on tumblrs people, when people who know me failed. Well wasn’t i wrong? Massive shout out to project-clu clu though, seriously, they’re kinder than all you fuckers and had the decency to send me a beautiful message as soon as they saw it was my birthday. I’ve known them 3days, what does that say about the rest of you? All im asking is you guys stop lying and pretending you’re willing to help. Oh and another thing, ive seen 2 fucking fictional characters wished a happy birthday today. Are you a cunt? By all means go ahead, we all have some sort of connection to anime characters, but to not say it to a real human being, don’t be such a cunt, that fucking hurt. I was seriously mistaken thinking people actually have any care or regard for me, i just thought maybe i could have one day where i could be happy. Now you’ve read it, unfollow if you want, i don’t care anymore.
And something about me. Ive suffered depression for the last 2 years. Suicidal thoughts cross my mind frequently when it’s particularly bad, which is maybe a month duration at a time with a few weeks between each. I don’t say things without thinking and disregarding others with depression, mine is pretty bad, very little keeps me here, and only 1 of my friends knows. Project, this is why I was so appreciative of your message, because it means so much to me when someone gives me genuine kind words, you wont believe how much it can change my mood.
Idk if I’ll be here for a while, depression has onset again, and I’m really feeling like shit.
Such a fucking trivial thing to be upset over too, but it just builds up and up and no one cares ever. It’s just really highlighted it today.
I know I’m no ones favourite, but I didn’t expect to be ignored this hard by everyone. One person, one person wished me a happy birthday, and I haven’t even known them a week. Shows how much I mean to my friends doesn’t it?